Funeral Etiquette Tips

grief and healingFuneral memorial or graveside services require a respectful presence. The last thing that the bereaved need is someone’s ignorance, clumsiness or uncaring attitude to offend them. You cannot expect them to be understanding of your actions. They are still struggling to come to terms with the fact that their loved one is no longer with them.

Visiting the Bereaved
You may think that the bereaved needs some “alone time” to deal with grief and your visit may be intrusive, but the truth is they need your reassuring presence to make them feel that although a loved one has passed on, many people still care for them, and that is reason enough to go on living a happy life. The length of your visit should depend on whether you feel the family wants you to remain or not,
Before visiting, it is strongly advised to call on the bereaved first. Offer your sympathy and help.

What And What Not to Say?
In expressing your sympathy, use your own words. You may tell them something nice about the deceased that the family will appreciate. Let the bereaved talk and express their feelings as much as they want to. Out of grief, they may ask some questions that you wouldn’t have any answer to, just tell them or let them feel that you understand they are going through.
It is not advisable to ask the bereaved about the cause of death. You can wait for them to bring it up.
You may not have too many fond memories of the deceased but it is not the right time and place for you to say something unpleasant about him/her. Also, please refrain from making insensitive comments that would lessen the importance of the loss. Such comments may be intended to comfort the bereaved but they actually do the opposite.

What to Wear?
Unless the family has a special request, you must wear something that fits the seriousness of the occasion. If you are participating in the service, stick to black or dark gray clothing.

Where to Seat?
The seats close to the front are meant for the family and very close friends. Acquaintances should take the seats in the middle or towards the rear.

Remember to sign your full name in the register book. Go straight to the family to offer your sympathy, then you can proceed to engage in quiet conversations with friends. If you wish to leave before the end of the ceremony, try not to leave during prayers.
Please set your phones to silent mode during the service. Please refrain from taking selfies or photos during the ceremony.

Send Flowers
If you can, you may send a floral tribute and other memorial gifts to the family. Southern Oaks Funeral Home has a wide array of beautiful and personalized keepsakes which you can choose from. See our beautiful flowers here.


2110 West Hwy. 914
Somerset, Kentucky 42503